The Book of Longing
by TheOpenedDoor
Summary: Things aren't so easy to define.
1. Chapter 1

**I Know You Had To Lie To Me (I Know You Had To Cheat)**

The suit was a write-off, there was no coming back from that. So here he was, going to face Loki with nothing but a smile and a can-do attitude. What could possibly go wrong? Probably best not to ask that question, things tend to go very wrong, very quick when he asks that question. Cue memory lane of Afghani terrorists and long walks in the desert. Definitely not the kinda date Tony likes.

Loki...Banner's bag of cats, Thor's brother, and a pain in the ass for everyone. What the hell is going on with this guy? What had Thor not been telling them? Adopted, what was that about? Wait, shit was that what THIS was about? This entire clusterfuck, this mission...a kid trying to get daddy's attention? This is good. No, not good, this is fucking bad. But Tony's territory for sure, he can work with daddy issues. He owns stock in daddy issues.

Between JARIVS and Valet, the Iron Man is gone entirely, so now all that can be done is talk. No big man in a suit of armor, just Tony, just Loki, and whatever words he can work out between the two of them. God, he needs a drink. He can't talk to a god hellbent on destruction without a drink. And the bar is right there…

"Care for a drink?"

"Stalling won't change anything," It was cute, really. Loki knows he's stalling, but has no idea WHY. And the why is always more important than the what.

"No, yeah, you're right on that. But this isn't stalling. It's a drink. What's a little drink between enemies? Foes? Nemesis? Nemeses...Well. Unless you're afraid of what I've got inside the tower?" Oh shit, innuendo? That's what he brings out at a time like this? Fuck.

"What have I to fear?"

"That's actually a really good question. I'm glad you asked. But I think you and I both know what it is, and it sure as hell ain't here." Back on track, Tony can do this. Loki may have been called "silver tongue", but goddamn Tony made it this far too, he knows his way around talking.

"See, Loki, can I call you Loki? Mr Odinson? I don't really know how this works, I'll be honest, I've never really talked to a god before. Well, your brother. But that was a lot more hostile than this, which is weird, that's weird, isn't–"

"Loki is fine." Confused. Oh good, confused is step one. Though "befuddled" might be a more apt description of the expression Loki is wearing right now, but semantics.

"Good, then I'm Tony. Scotch or whisky?"

"What is this? Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity." He should feel bad, twisting Loki's hate and fear against him. Should? No, he does. What Tony is doing to Loki is what Obie did to him, and if Tony can get Loki to just stop, and _talk_ he might just get passed that parallel.

"Nope, not even a little. I don't do humanity. Have you seen my file? No, of course not, prisoners don't get SHIELD access codes, and I doubt you cared about Earth's inhabitants before this whole debacle. Anyways. Me? Not too much of a humanitarian. Until recently, I built weapons. Sold weapons, designed them. Basically did everything but pull the trigger for any army or cause willing to pay up. They called me the Merchant of Death, at one point. I had it on my e-mail for a while, but then Pepper found out, and WOW you would not want to invade earth on a day she was pissed, seriously, you would have just turned back."

"I'm sorry, are you going anywhere with this? In case you haven't noticed, I've got places to be." Oh right. There was a point here, how did he lose that?

"RIGHT! That! The army, the Chitauri you have coming. Will it fix anything for you? Will it make it better, be the Polysporin/Band-Aid combo to heal all wounds? Is that what you think will happen, that you do this and you'll forget that you were Thor's brother? That you were Odin's son? I can promise you, those will STICK, and you'll just have the same father, the same brother, but a lot more people will hate you for it. Is that what you're working for here?"

"You're a man of power and influence, Mr Stark. Do you not think it will be easier if one man controlled it all? One man prevented your wars and your petty conflicts over resources?" Loki was pacing, gripping the spear like he wanted to throw it at someone, but that someone wasn't here. Shit, being right should not be so bad.

"You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. And daddy still won't love you, that's for sure."

And suddenly, Loki's right in front of him, no longer pacing from the other side of the room, but right in front of him, and the glass is against his back.

"What do you know? What could you possibly know about my life, about why I do this? You are just a common, mortal, man, YOU CAN'T KNOW THIS."

Loki pushes, and the glass creaks in its frame.

"My father didn't speak to me, I wasn't on his radar until I went to MIT, and even then you know what he talked about? Projects. What I could design. What I could make. Not me, never me. I know this, and I know you. Believe you me, you don't corner the market on fucked up fathers, fathers who will see you for what you do for them, not for the fact that you are their son."

Now, the moment of truth. The precipice, the impetus. People can literally die from not being touched affectionately, or so Tony heard once.

He curls one hand, the one not bracing himself against the glass, around Loki's neck. To an onlooker, it would seem romantic, and Tony knows if he were looking on, he'd think something in the R-rating scale. But this? This is just contact, just a touch. Nothing more, not now.

"So, we become just what our fathers wanted us to be, right? We become their weapons –" a flinch there, why does he have to be right, he hates it so much, and is THAT a new feeling "–and we do exactly what they'd expect us to do. I make an armory for the entire fucking world, and you try to destroy whatever you can get your sights on, and we do it to say, yep, we fucking did it, just what you wanted."

The hand on his chest has loosened, and the glass is no longer anywhere near the danger zone of breaking. Good, this is progress, moving toward something here. Tony takes another breath, ready to make some case for good (whatever that is), but Loki beats him to the punch.

"I was my father's stolen relic, something from another world that he took for his own. This is what that leads to; this is what my father's actions have brought about. I do not wish to be a relic, but that is what I am. However. However, you do not seem like your father's creation to me. You seem very far removed from that." A huff of what might be laughter follows that, and now it's up to Tony to bring it all home.

"Well, an Afghani holiday and a couple of near death experiences later, I got a new perspective. I don't have to be what Howard wanted. Hell, I don't have to be anything. Neither do you. You can call this all off, and if you wanna leave, I won't stop you."

"The Chitauri are coming, nothing can stop that, not even me. It's been pushed too far, and they have too much power. Even if I thought you right, even if I wanted…to try a new perspective. They will come. That is inevitable." Loki's grip had relaxed even further, and now they were just standing there, still connected by a little bit of touch, but no threat present, not even in the slightest.

"Okay, but you know the Chitauri. You know what they're weaknesses are. If you wanted to help us–and I'm not saying you are–but if you _were_. Thor is in your back pocket, and you got me in your corner. If you tell us what to do, how to target them, how to get rid of it…new start. Guaranteed. You can do whatever the fuck you want."

The look Loki was giving him was more than suspicious, more than contemplative. It was the look of a man about to go batshit on someone, and checking to see if there was someone else there. It was fucking Thelma looking at Louise. And Tony knew he had him, had him hooked. Being right can suck SO MUCH.

"Alright. I can tell you what I know, but do not mistake this for complacency, or for an alliance. A temporary truce is what I will offer you, for I am about as fond of the Chitauri as you are. After this is done, after I have the Tesseract–and I will–then we will talk more. We will decide what exactly has happened here."

"Deal."

Being right sucked, Tony never wanted to be this right. Shit, he's gonna have to talk to Fury. Barton's gonna kill him. But first, they have a party to attend.


	2. Chapter 2

**You Kiss my Lips and Then It's Done**

The battle never happened; not in any major way. A couple hundred Chitauri got out of the portal, but before any more than that came through, Loki and Tony had destroyed the portal-opener-thing, saving the world from near-destruction. All-in-all, a bit anticlimactic.

"So this was anticlimactic. Shouldn't there have been more boom?"

"Stark, no. You are no supposed to be unhappy about a good result."

"Cap, I'm not saying I'm unhappy, I'm just saying…I have hundreds of tiny missiles on me. And none of them got used. Well, not on me right now. But on the suit. The suit that I didn't get to use!"

"This…I am not having this conversation with you. Fury's going to have to deal with you, because your reckless stunt here can't be ignored." And with that, Captain fucking America walked away, going to meet the SHIELD operatives back on the street, leaving Loki, Tony, and now Fury alone on the roof of Stark Tower.

"So. This is a thing now. We're gonna have to talk about this thing. I knew that was coming. I still think we should skip it."

"Stark, at best you're unreliable, self-obsessed, and insubordinate. This? This is not the best situation." Fury was pissed. Okay, pissed is easy, Tony could do pissed.

"I'll take that. But I content that the amount in property damage and group therapy that we've saved the city of New York is way higher than the amount that I've fucked up. And this fuck up? Totally not a fuck up. We basically managed to stop an ALIEN INVASION before you guys even got down here! That's a good result."

"Eighty people in two days, Stark! Did that little fact slip your mind here?"

"Oh please. Like Romanoff and Barton haven't done that. Or Thor, or Captain fucking America. War doesn't decide who's right, it decides who has the bigger gun. So if you're gonna start bringing up numbers and casualty lists, let's do it for every one of us, then punish us all and scrap the Avengers Initiative all together."

Fury was giving him that look. The look that says I'll let you do this, but if you fuck it up, I will crush you, you motherfucker, so don't fuck it up. Tony didn't really like that look. Way too many expectations in that look, this time at least, he actually wanted to meet them. Goddamnit.

"Alright. But you have to know that we can't exactly let Loki walk off right now. Something has to be done about this."

"No, you're right on that. So let's chat. Loki? Hey buddy, get over here, we're having a pow-wow about your future." What was it with people and giving him looks today, he swears he's not saying anything that crazy. Okay, maybe calling an Asgardian man-god-thing buddy is not normal, but who the fuck knows what normal is anymore.

"Well, Loki what do you suggest we do with you? Letting you walk away is no really an option", way to go Fury, going right to the thrust of the matter.

Loki hummed, and looked for all the world like he didn't really care what was going to happen to him. Which may be true, who knows what was going on in his mind. Tony did. Tony knew, and he knew that Loki was looking for an excuse to stay, to talk to Thor, get Thor to understand, and to maybe figure out how Tony knew what he knew. Tony hates being right, has hated it all day, and hates it more now.

"Moriarty." Why can't he have a filter? For once, Tony would actually pay to have some control over what was coming out of his mouth. And seeing the exact same expression of confusion and direct irritation of Loki and Fury's faces was just wrong. So wrong. Oh god, so wrong.

"Stark, this is not the time–"

"What is a Moriarty–"

Oh god, now they're talking at the same time.

"Uhhh. Consulting criminal. Spider in the middle of a web of his own making. There's this show, it's some weird Sherlock Holmes thing, it's good, but not nearly as good as the Ritchie versions, man I love those movies–"

"STARK"

Talking together, they have to be separated. For the good of the nation. For the good of Tony's sanity.

"CONSULTING CRIMINAL. But instead of consulting with criminals, Loki consults with us. He watches us, he can tell us our weaknesses where we're gonna fuck up, how he'd attack us. I mean, he already knows more about us than most of SHIELD does, so this is just a paying position, right? It's perfect."

Now they were both neither looking at him. Now they were sizing each other up, like some weird, surreal nature show. David Attenborough would be eating this shit up. Now, we see the lion and the viper meeting in the savannah, both surviving in the hostile environment, though generally keeping a distance from one another.

"I could do this, for now. Such an endeavor could be…most satisfactory." Good, Loki was on board. He's been on board since Tony offered him a drink, and god he still hates being right.

"It could work, preparing the Avengers for bigger threats, and we'd be able to keep tabs on you. Both of you. I don't even know which one of you is the threat any more, and that is a scary thought." Fury was in. This is going way smoother than it should. Worry later, just keep it cool.

"Oh good. We're all on the same page, that's nice. And new. It's a new feeling for us all, I think, we should celebrate. Think Thor would like shwarma?"

"Stark, I swear to God, if you don't stop talking, I will promote Loki to Avenger and have you listed as public enemy number one. We're going to the boat, and we are gonna settle this proposal with everyone, not just you."

How did this manage to not be Tony's idea anymore? This was totally his idea. Or the BBC's. But definitely not Fury's.

* * *

The helecarrier was mostly intact. Which was surprising. The three of them were met by Hill and Coulson, Fury promptly leaving Loki and Tony to be escorted to the conference area by some random SHIELD agents.

"Did SHIELD intentionally dress you all like Starfleet cadets, or was that just a weird coincidence?"

"Mr Stark–"

"Tony"

"–do you ever really think before you talk? Is there some method to what you say? Because I am simply not seeing one."

"Ya know, there really is. Think of it this way, you and your words are ninjas in the dark. Me and mine are a nuke. Or seven. Different approaches, but the same people end up dead."

"That seems to be an apt, if overly violent, metaphor. Tell me, how do you plan on convincing the other…Avengers….that this is a worthwhile cause? I doubt Agent Barton or Miss Romanoff will have too many kind words for me."

"Eh, they're not the problem. The two of them will, hopefully, do what SHIELD tells them to. Ultimately, they are SHIELD agents, and they will do what Fury wants. The problem will be Rogers. He has a totally overblown sense of right and wrong, and there is not a single space available for grey areas there. He's the one we have to convince."

Maybe Tony should be worried, that he's getting so invested in Loki. This investment is starting to look like something else, something more. And that something more is a dangerous something. Worry later.

"So, we must convince Captain Rogers that my employment by SHIELD is advantageous, rather than a danger. How would you suggest we do that?"

"No idea. Maybe drinking games. Maybe let him talk to Fury for a while. Or, just let Thor talk about you for like a half hour, and Rogers would do whatever it takes to shut him up. Yeah, let's have Thor make your case."

Speak of the devil, and he doth appear. Thor, in all his Asgardian battle glory and all his Newfoundland puppy enthusiasm bounds into the room, looking for all like Christmas had come early. Or the Asgardian equivalent. Thursday had come early?

"Brother! I heard whispers that you were on this vessel, and willingly no less!"

Oh god, if this is what a happy Thor was like, no wonder Loki wanted to get the hell out of Dodge. This was way too much…happy for one person to be able to stand.

"Yes, Thor. I am here, at the behest of Tony Stark to discuss a…."

"Rehabilitation program. Community service!" Better sounding than consulting criminal, at least when told to Thor.

"Exactly that. If this goes as Tony anticipates, I shall work with you to help make the Avengers a more cohesive unit. You know as well as I that I excel at battle strategy. This is definitely a practical application of my skills."

Tony wonders at how easy it was to change Loki's tune. Or maybe the problem was the opposite, this was Loki's tune all along, and he was trying to change his mad dash foxtrot to a Dougie during this entire mess.

"Brother–" Loki flinches at the word, has every time Thor's been mentioned, yet the man-god-thing doesn't notice. Neither men-god-things notice it. "–this is a most worthy cause! It brings me great pleasure to fight with you again, to be your companion."

Wow, this is a lot of tension. A lot of tension no one is noticing. How do they not notice? How does Thor not see how close Loki is to snapping, how does Loki not see how much Thor loves his brother? And yet. They're talking. More is gonna have to happen, but this is good. Right? Tony hopes it's good, he can't handle the fall out if it's bad. Chernobyl will have nothing on what they could do.

"Alright gentlemen, time to talk."

Oh goody, Fury's back. With a very pissed trio of Rogers, Romanoff, and Barton. That might just be the shittiest pop band ever. He'd still pay to see it. The dance numbers would be epic.


	3. Chapter 3

**And Even Now I Must Be Careful**

Tony could honestly say he'd never been in a room more filled with angry, uncomfortable, and murderous people in his life. Including The Cave. And that was just a bad deal all around. No, this, this was infinitely worse.

"Sir, I don't see what discussion you hope to have here. We have Loki, we arrest him, and we kill him. Simple."

"Agent Romanoff, you know it's not that simple. Frankly, we're gonna need all the help we can get if other races are now considering us a viable threat. The only one who knows how to combat these people is Thor, and that is just not enough."

Romanoff looked pissed. Beyond pissed. She looked like she would catch and flay Loki if given five minutes alone with him. Was that because of what he did to Barton? Or because of what Loki said to her?

"You seem a hell of a lot more sane than the last time I saw you. Granted, the last time I was kinda, ya know, a zombie-Clint. But you definitely seem saner." And Barton swings the hard hitting question. How will the Asgardian candidate respond?

"The Chitauri do not speak with me the way I do with you. The experience is not unlike yours, it is one of being unmade. I was susceptible to what the Chitauri were doing, and that reflects on one's mental welfare rather negatively."

Tony didn't know if Loki was lying or telling the truth, but he did know one thing. There is not a lie in the universe that isn't a reflection of the truth. So this is true, Loki believes it to be true, or Loki wants it to be true. And any of those options boil down to the same thing. Loki wasn't in control.

"So they made you their soldier, you made me your soldier. Ta – Agent Romanoff had to hit me pretty hard to get me out of it, so what got you out?" Oh, how will the candidate react to this accusation from the investigative reporter? The election stands on this issue, the winner will be decided now.

"Have you ever been shot by a weapon which has no clear function? Agent Coulson has excellent aim, and that gun….packs a punch, I believe is the appropriate Midgardian phrasing."

Damn, Coulson looks smug at that. Really smug. Security-breach-in-Stark-Tower smug. Not a good look for the man. Though, Tony'd probably be at least that smug if he'd gotten the drop on Thor or Captain fucking America. Maybe more smug.

Romanoff looked…contemplative. Not happy, far from happy. But she was thinking.

"You claim you were under the same…spell as you put Barton under? Is that what you expect us to believe? Because that seems pretty far-fetched, even for all this."

Loki's pacing again, but not the agitated watch out for windows pacing, but a calmer one. Apparently even man-god-things have trouble explaining themselves sometimes. Who knew. Tony knew, and he is still not a fan of being right.

"No, not the same. Not at all. The Tessaract took away Agent Barton's free will, that is its function–and I apologize for that–but consider that prior to meeting the Chitauri I was in dead space. There is not time, no form in that area. It is nothing."

"Alright, I see it. A whole lot of nothing, and then there's something, it makes sense to work with that something, even if it's not…good." Rogers, what the fuck?

"Rogers, what the fuck? Are you on his side? I like it. You're moving up the ranks of my favorites, I am liking you more and more."

Everyone seemed to busy thinking about Rogers' comment to focus on Tony's, which was good. Even better that everyone was considering this, considering Loki not as the villain, not as the unnamed evil, but as a person (man-god-thing).

Clint knows what it's like to be unmade, he said so. Romanoff knows too. (So what if he bugged the helecarrier, sue him if it's that much of a bother.) Hopefully that lets them consider it, lets them think about it.

The table fills with chatter, and Tony pulls a tablet to himself, starts looking at the specs for the Mark VII. No sense in wasting time, he knows where he stands in this camp, let the others make their choices.

"Brother, I knew nothing of this. Why did you not mention this, why did you not tell me?" And there's Thor, missing the point.

"Thor, you DROPPED ME OFF THE BIFROST."

Silence.

The entire bridge is silent.

And Tony bursts out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I am really, really sorry. But." He holds up a finger, he's gonna need a breath here, a moment to compose himself. No, no composure, just enough to actually speak.

"You dropped your brother off a multidimensional transporting rainbow? You, Loki, you FELL OFF A RAINBOW? This explains so much. This entire relationship is SO much clearer to me! Wow, you guys need to talk."

"Stark, should you really be making light of this? This is a pretty serious situation, and your attitude will not help it."

"Rogers, you were doing so well at being my favorite. Like really well. What happened?" Seriously, Captain fucking America was gonna be his downfall. Entirely.

And then Loki was laughing. Not like Tony just had been, but a soft noise from his corner. Just enough so everyone knew what it was. And then Thor was following, and Clint had a smile, nothing more, and Natasha was just sitting there impassively. Tony broke down again, at the thought of this motley crew of people laughing at Captain fucking America.

And then Bruce Banner walked in, tired, and a bit worse for wear.

"Hey, Loki, I was looking at the gamma traces readouts from when we were looking for the Tessaract, and I was hoping you could explain a couple of anomalies I've seen here. I know you weren't the main scientist on this, but Selvig is…indisposed at the moment, and I thought you might have some insight. And the iridium you got–What? What's wrong?"

Fury looks like he's going to quit SHIELD and grow roses for the rest of his life, Coulson seems to be contemplating adding "cat wrangler" to his resume, and Romanoff seems to be about eight seconds from an aneurism. Hill is pouring another coffee. Clint starts laughing, setting of Thor, Tony, and Loki once again. And Captain fucking America just looks confused.

"It's okay, Cap, I know you don't speak English like the rest of us. Just let the good doctor and Loki chat it out, it's fine if you don't understand. We'll set you up at the kid's table at Thanksgiving." Never let it be said Tony missed an opportunity to rub salt into a wound.

"Doctor Banner, I would like to explain the methods used in making the portal to you, and discussing the gamma radiation you were seeing. However, I might suggest that Agent Barton would actually understand some of it much better than I. I am still unfamiliar with most Midgaridan technology."

Tony could see it now, he could practically touch the contours and facets of what this is going to be. He knows, without a doubt that Loki will be fucking indispensable to them, and that the others will know it soon. All it took, apparently was Bruce Banner ceasing to give a fuck about anything, and just rolling with the fuckery that has become his life.

And Loki seemed to be genuinely invested in it now, like he wanted to prove to someone (everyone) that he was more than what they saw. Tony knows that feeling, he's got that feeling intimately in his bones.

Bruce and Loki are leaving to the lab on the helecarrier, and Thor seems to be tagging along for the ride. Clint follows them, leaving Romanoff with a significant look. Significant of what, that's a mystery Tony feels no need to solve. He stands up, ready to follow them.

"Stark."

"Ah, Agent Romanoff. What can I do for you this fine day?" It was coming. Might as well face it now.

"Do you really thing this is a good idea? Do you really think that after all Loki did, he can change? Be the better man?" If looks could kill, he'd be full of daggers and stilettoes right now. Not the shoes. Maybe the shoes, actually.

"I think that there is a lot of stuff going on before Loki brought the Chitauri here. I don't know if he can be the better man, but at the same time, I don't know if he can be the worse man." man-god-thing. At this moment, Tony really wishes he could explain that feeling crawling up his spine, the feeling he gets when he's talking about Loki. He'll have to ask Pepper.

"So you're just going to throw caution to the wind on this? You're going to trust him." No room for argument there.

"Yes. I think I will. Just the same way I trust you, and I trust Banner. We all have pasts here, Natasha. We were all him at one point. So I'll trust he's going to do what we do."

Natasha nods, not happy, but thinking about Tony's words. A step. The Momma Bear is never going to trust the thing that threatened her family, but maybe she'll let it pass for now. Tony's starting to like being right again, if this is what right feels like.

Tony's getting confident, he knows something's starting. He knows that it's going his way, that this entire situation is turning up roses for him. If that's a good thing or a bad thing, he has no idea. And he'll have to address the Loki thing in his bones, sooner rather than later, he thinks. Worry for tomorrow

Now it's time to see how drunk Asgardians can get.


	4. Chapter 4

**I Know You Like to Get Me Drunk**

After leaving Romanoff to build a web in the rafters, or talk to Fury, whatever it is she does when she's panicked, Tony wandered down to the labs, knowing full well that he could be walking into a minefield or a party. A party of landmines. A minefield of parties. It really all depends, he's pretty sure having expectations when it comes to Thor is a bad idea.

"Nay, it was not a binding marriage! Made of lies and deceit!" Oh Christ, now Thor was telling tales? Why the hell didn't he get down here sooner.

"Thor, you know just as well as I do that the marriage was made, and though you may not love, nor even like Thrymr, he is now and ever shall be your husband! Just because you took Mjolnir to his head does not nullify the marriage."

Tony finally made it into the room, Bruce and Loki were standing next to the panes of glass designed, by Tony no less, acting as computer screens. Clint was laughing, sitting on a table nearby, and it all looked strangely, and rather frighteningly domestic.

"Who got married to what now? And Thor, you should never bring a hammer to a wedding, I know you love that thing, but seriously. There are things that are appropriate. And things that aren't. This goes into the not category."

"Stark, man, you've been missing out here! Following these two is actually kinda hard, but it sounds like Thor lost his hammer, then had to pretend to be his MOTHER to marry a frostgiant to get the thing back. And Loki was the handmaid? I don't really know. BUT! It had basically turned into the two of them fighting about if it's a real marriage or not." Of course Clint would enjoy this, cross dressing marriages are totally his thing.

Holy shit, Tony LOVES being right. Loves it like lions love slow zebra, like fire loves tinder. Being right is awesome, how could he doubt that. And Loki, man Loki is smiling, and would he kill to have that directed at him, fuck yes he would. He would kill, maim, and steal to have that smile pointed at his direction.

"So have you guys gotten what you need out of this place? 'Cause I'm thinking we move this to somewhere a bit more neutral, maybe Stark Tower? Since that place is fully stocked. And has enough bedrooms to fit all of us, plus extras."

Is he doing this, is Tony really doing this, offering his home, his sanctuary to a bunch of barely sane, highly deadly misfits? Apparently, yes. That is true.

"Is this the famous philanthropist bit we all heard about? You inviting us to your place to get drunk and celebrate not destroying Manhattan?"

"Wow Banner, way to strip my heartfelt and compassionate offer to a joke. I should be offended. But I am too good a person, so I will preemptively forgive this slight against my person. Be glad I like you Bruce. Anyway, you in?"

Of course Thor and Clint were in, they wanted to drink, and the ten floors of R&D were too tempting to pass up for Bruce. But they didn't matter, they hadn't mattered all day. Loki's acquiescence was the end all be all, and if Tony didn't get that, he might just burn down this boat. Shit, that's not good. Way not good. Memo, Google the knot in his stomach, it must be related to the spine-crawly. And it is none of it good.

"I believe, Tony, that you still owe me a drink. I never did get that scotch I was offered this morning, and I have heard tell that you have the most well stocked liquor cabinets in Midgard. A boast which must be tested, of course. And who better than two sons of Asgard?"

That was new, Loki sliding in with Thor. But good, Tony thinks, something to work on, something to build on. Being right is working, being right is everything. Now, if he's right about Loki, and the knot and the spine…then being right will be better than whatever throne Loki was prepared to go to war for.

"Well, gentlemen. Let's get the ladies, and get some drinks, shall we?"

So this is how it begins, then, this is what the new world order will be. Two estranged man-god-things, a couple of master assassins, a super-soldier, a man with breath-taking anger management issues. And this was going to work together; this was going to keep everything safe and sound, keep the world spinning and keep all monsters under the bed and in space so far away it can't see earth.

Let the games begin.

* * *

Tony woke up in pain. More pain than he can really remember, not from a night of drinking. What the hell had they done? Was this gonna be some super-hero version of a Katy Perry song? Tony didn't think he could handle this, T.G.I.F. was NOT the soundtrack to his life, it could not be.

"JARVIS. Uhhhmmm JARVIS. Yes. Lights?"

Worst. Idea. Ever.

"NO, NO, NO, OFF TURN IT ALL OFF, OH GOD why am I yelling, that hurts so much."

This is what happens when you challenge the god of thunder to battleshots. That was the worst idea he'd ever had, bar none. There cannot be another idea that was as bad. There cannot be an idea that ever happened in the world that was as bad as challenging a Norse fucking deity to a drinking contest. Especially not one that included battle strategy.

But that was definitely not the only memory of the game. When it became clear that Tony was out of his depth beyond belief, Loki stepped up, stood behind him, whispered hints and suggestions in his ear. And that, that had NC-17 written all over it. In his mind. In reality, there was enough alcohol to put a stop to that, and more than enough people in the room to quell even Tony's freaky side. Why hadn't he called Pepper, he should have called Pepper, he knew he needed to call Pepper.

Enough. Okay. He was awake, he was whole, and he'd been hungover before. That was not new. So starting from there, shower. Shower then breakfast. Greasy eggs and bacon will fix everything.

Walking into the kitchen, the first thing Tony sees is Clint, passed out on the island, covered in some ancient looking writing and baking supplies. Where had he gotten My Little Pony cupcake liners? Sometimes, Tony swears JARVIS must order shit in just to fuck with him. There is no way Tony ordered three Wiis, and definitely no way he bought seven sets of Chef Gordon Ramsey knives. Unless he had been drunk with the internet and his black AMEX. That could have happened.

"Clint? Clint, are you even alive? Do I need to call 911? I'm pretty sure I remember the number, but I don't want to call unless absolutely necessary, that seems like a terrible idea."

"Airspeed, wind direction, possible casualties, human variables, bow weight, arrow flexibility."

Okay. Clint was alive. Still sleeping? Possibly. Definitely alive though. No need for an ambulance, they can all go home and take a break.

Putting coffee on is officially the best idea ever, which is pretty good following the worst idea. Coffee is the best start to a good breakfast, and will help everyone left in the house recover from what must have been a great night.

Romanoff comes staggering out of the living room into the kitchen. Well. Not staggering. Walking like a normal human being, which must be the Natasha Romanoff version of staggering.

"You know you're talking out loud, right? Like I can hear you. Other people can hear you. And I think you can knock off the Romanoff now, Natasha is fine. After you holding my hair back after drinking darts with Loki, I think we can first name this."

"Oh that was after battleshots, right? You know, even though we're all mature responsible adults, this seems a whole lot like a frat house. How'd the casualties go, do you remember?"

Oh fuck yes, Natasha is so on his side now, they are friends, this is excellent.

"Um well. Bruce left after the first round of poker, he got worried about hulking out. Then Steve–"

"Captain fucking America"

"–Captain fucking America left, seeing as he couldn't get drunk. I think he was also getting pretty freaked by the tales of ye olde Asgard, I suppose his 1940s world view didn't coincide with that much debauchery. Clint took over right where you see him next, around three am. I think I went down about an hour later, so that leaves you, Loki, and Thor."

"Okay, I'm ninety nine percent positive I was done next. My body must be mostly alcohol now, so that must have been my saving grace. I wonder what the fuck Thor and Loki got up to. Do you remember how drunk they were? Were they drunk at all?"

"Oh they were drunk. I doubt Thor would've let the weird eyes go on between you and Loki if he were sober. And I think Loki would have been a HELL of a lot more subtle about it."

Oh. Sex eyes. That is good, that is so much good wrapped in bacon. Nothing is more good. A drunken moment can turn into a sober one so easily! It happens in the movies all the time!

"Still talking out loud, Tony. Is this you hungover? I like it."

"Natasha, your Russian blood is well deserved this morning."

Now, to rouse the troops and make breakfast. It will be the breakfast of kings. And thieves.


	5. Chapter 5

**I Wait, I Don't Know What I'm Waiting For**

Days had gone by; it had been established almost immediately that everyone would stay at Stark Tower, it was too convenient for SHIELD, and too tempting for the "team" to do otherwise. And frankly, Tony kinda liked having them all there. Well, mostly. He would never, ever, never, never, never be alright with Captain fucking America being in his house. Nope, not ever.

In the near-week that they'd all been cohabitating, universal constants had been established. These made Tony very happy, it was something for him to breakdown and rebuild, something that other people called "constant", but really those amateurs had never really tried to make it vary.

These so-called constants were as followed: Captain fucking America made a chore list, and if anyone ignored their prescribed duty, he would whip out the mother of all disappointed looks; Natasha and Clint would play an epic, and possibly erotic, game of hide-and-seek/tag/beat-the-shit-out-of-each-other at all times; Bruce and Tony could be found in the labs, if they weren't eating or sleeping (who had time to sleep, Tony'd sleep when he's dead, thank you very much); Thor and Loki were rarely together.

The last one shocked everyone. Almost. Not Tony, he knew Loki, he knew what being with family meant, what being stuck in a room with people who didn't actually know you, but thought they did, was like, and fuck, he'd avoided it all his childhood, he can't blame Loki at all.

At this moment, Thor and Captain fucking America were dancin', dodgin', and dartin' in the gym, and Loki was watching Tony. Tony liked this, Tony wanted this, Tony was born to have this, or if he wasn't, he was damn well gonna make sure he was everything Loki was worth. Where did that come from, what the fuck?

Loki being here meant one thing. One thing, the thing they hadn't been talking about, this talk about how Tony knew how to get to Loki, and how Tony knew what he knew. How he knew the Cliffnotes for a millennia-old man-god-thing's life. The only thing left to figure out was how was this going to happen.

"You knew of things you should have no knowledge of. What had Thor let slip to you, what secrets of mine did he tell?" Huh. This was Loki scared. Dangerous, because frightened things always are. Like that dog Tony found, starved and hurt in an alley, when he was fifteen and all alone at MIT, too young for university but too old for playdates. It bit him, but Tony couldn't blame the dog. God knows he'd bite too, had even.

"I know a lot of things. A metaphorical treasure trove of things. All sorts of things."

"Do not play light with this, Tony Stark. You will not like the outcome." Scared and dangerous, and being right is not fun again.

Tony turns away from the screen, lets the programs run on their own. Loki should have, deserves his attention. And for the record? Tony doesn't give his attention out lightly, this is kinda a big thing for him.

"I know about you what I know about me. Thor didn't tell us about you at all, he didn't have time. Or the inclination, really. All he said was that you were adopted. That's all."

Loki was confused, and scared, and this was not what Tony wanted at all. Not anywhere near the Loki of the Battleshots Melee, with the flirty eyes and the chest pressed up against Tony's back. This was a Loki scared of home, and of who was there waiting for him. And Tony got that, he really did. That did NOT mean he had to like it.

"Did your lies fulfill your purpose? Clearly, you intended to prevent the destruction of your world, and though I applaud your success, I think you should not forget I allowed it."

Allowed it? That is fucking rich.

"I'm sorry I tricked you– "

"Tried. You tried to trick me."

"–I really am. But all that? True, too. I never lied, I didn't really want to. You're the literal GOD OF LIES. I think trying to lie to you is like trying to nail water to a tree. Or like trying to get Clint passed a Krispy Kreme without going in. Or like trying to stop Natasha's subscription to Guns and Ammo. Which is weird, she's been here like six days, and we already have twenty seven back issues here. How the fuck did she get them? Anyway, I didn't lie to you. Not a once."

This was Loki thinking. Back to the pacing, the good kind the I will work this out kind of pacing, not the manic let me pummel you pacing. The even better kind of pacing, the Tony could appreciate it kind of pacing. Since Thor and Loki had elected to stay at Stark Towers (rather than a prison, not much of a choice for at least half of the team), they'd taken to wearing normal clothes. And wow, Loki looked good in blue. Who the fuck took him shopping, Tony needed to thank them for putting Henleys on the guy. Give them an island. Or two.

"I know you did not lie, I am not simple. But I doubt greatly that you did it out of any sense of kindness to me. And that, that is what I would very much like to understand now, if it's all the same to you?" Not really a question, was it? Nope, a demand, but one Tony could answer.

"If you mean did I drop down onto the rooftop intending to talk to you, to have a little caring and sharing moment? Then nope, not even a bit. That is too cliché for me. Or not enough. I basically meant to threaten you, to buy time until the others got down to kick your ass, and the Chitauri's collective ass. But then…I didn't." Good finish Tony, way to be super suave.

"I hadn't noticed." the reply was so dry Tony felt parched just hearing it.

"Why is this so hard? Why do we have to be SO SUSPICIOUS of each other? Fuck."

Okay, that was not meant to come out like that. In for a penny, whatever.

"I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't want to be some evil thing that parents tell their kids about. 'Listen now, Jack, if you don't keep going to church, you'll end up just like that Tony Stark. And money cannot buy a bad man a good name!' is so not what I wanna go for. You know what? I think it's not want you wanna go for either. And I guessed that. And maybe I guessed right, I think I did, but the point is that wanting you not to destroy a planet and wanting to help you, to see you're not the only one in this shit, are not mutually exclusive."

Now Loki looked less wary, more interested, more intrigued.

"I can't make you like me, or make you see that we're the same type of people. Both fucked over by the people who are supposed to do the opposite, but I can just leave that out there, make sure you know that for all Thor can rant about brotherhood and family, I can understand loving your family and hating them so much that you break apart with it, and hope they'll burn themselves down while you're not there so you don't have to choose between the fire extinguisher and the gas can."

"So what? You want us to have a heart-to-heart? To commiserate over our ineffective and cruel fathers? That seems rather simple of you, I did not take you for a simpleton, Tony."

"No, not really. I think we've already hashed out that part, and there's no point in beating a dead horse. But, we're both gonna be dragging that dead horse around for the rest of our lives, and I know I'm risking the entire metaphor here, I am suggesting we…help each other pull that load. We know, we know what we are. What we've done. Why we did it. Not too many other people do, or can."

Thor, he means. Thor can't understand, for all he loves Loki, for all the loyalty and affection he wants to give his little brother, Thor can't understand how much it hurts to hate the people you love.

Loki knew this, Loki got this. Tony knew it, could feel it in his bones, and could see it reflected in Loki's eyes. This won't ever be some fairy tale, this thing the two of them have. It's gonna suck, be hard, and there won't be a lot of fun, not at first. But.

"What would you like me to do, Tony?" Now, Loki looked tired. Tired and a weird combination of old and young. Like he was older than some stars, but at the same time, was someone's little brother, was supposed to be someone's baby.

"Whatever makes you happy. Within reason, obviously. Like don't kill anyone. Please. But other than that? Hang out with us, with me. Help us out with the shit we're gonna face, because you and I both know shit is coming. But yeah. Do what makes you the better person, better than Thor and Odin and everyone else."

It's weird, seeing someone's emotions change, watching them react to what you do. Pepper and Rhodey had really been the only ones to do it around Tony, and even then they were guarded.

Now, now Loki had a fire. Not the house burning kind, but the hearth. The type of fire that makes things, not burns them down. And that was the thing Tony had been living his life to see, and he had no idea until just now. And now Loki was smiling, and the spine-stomach-heart thing Tony had been ignoring for a weak was back in full force.

"Perhaps. There is some saying, about the best revenge being a life well lived. However, I feel that could be amended. The best revenge is a life lived better."

And that was a riddle Tony knew the answer too. If you can't destroy everything people make, you create something far better. You can't get out from Howard Stark's shadow? You fucking build an arc reactor that works, in a cave, in Afghanistan, with insufficient tools and materials, because Howard Stark couldn't

And Tony knows, in this moment, that he and Loki are gonna build something huge.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank You Ruler of the World, Thank you for Calling Me Honey**

Loki knowing what was going on, where he stood, was a man on fire. Forget fucking Katniss Everdeen, and so what if Tony read the Hunger Games, don't even make a thing about it. Loki was able to stand right up against any one of the Avengers, any one of the SHIELD agents on the worst of days, but on the best? Going toe-to-toe with Loki was a big mistake.

But Tony couldn't very well help himself could he, leaving this alone was just a level of control Tony just did not have. But a fight was not what he wanted, not anywhere near the type of tension or passion he wanted. So the logical, tactical choice here was to not stand against Loki, but to stand behind him, and see how long it took certain god-man-things to notice that something bigger/better/brighter was being offered.

So Tony went looking for Loki, and found him in the newly-reconstructed Avengers' Kitchen. A kind reminder, don't let an angry Hulk and an antagonistic Thor roam free. Loki was, for some reason, wearing purple. A soft, knit sweater. The fuck? Purple should not work on him, and should definitely not be hot on him.

"Loki, just the man –" god-thing "–I was looking for! C'mon, we've got plans, let's go, hustle." Sometimes, Tony found that the best way to convince someone to do something was not to convince them at all, but rather just to not really give them the opportunity or option to do otherwise. It might seem kinda insane, but look at Stark Industries, the plan kinda works like a charm.

"Good morning Tony, I'm pleased to see you as well. I've already had breakfast thank you for asking, but I would be quite interested in seeing whatever…_intriguing_ sight you have planned for today. Give me a moment, and I'll meet you shortly."

How the hell did Loki catch on to Western sarcasm so well, who had time to teach him? Had JARVIS been chatting with him behind Tony's back? Had JARVIS not been dishing out? Shit, Tony needed to debrief that freakin' AI, sometimes it had way to much I and not enough A. Exactly as it was designed.

So Tony waited. Patiently. Mostly. Slightly. Okay, he kinda paced around. But that was neither here nor there, 'cause he was going to take Loki out today, and though he may not know it was going to be a date, Tony knew. And if there is anything Tony knew better than mechanical engineering, it was wooing.

"Alright, let's see what marvel the great and powerful Tony Stark has to offer today. I'll try my hardest not to look behind any curtains that may appear." The elevator pings, and they are on their way down eighty four floors to the lobby.

"Oh, so Thor doesn't understand the flying monkeys, but you're totally an expert on American popular culture in like two weeks? How does that even work?" They barely had Thor working the toaster, but Loki could catch up on seventy years' of technology, some things boggled the mind.

"It works as I wish it too." Cocky was an attitude that worked wonderfully on the guy, Loki could work it. Now if he would work it in Tony's direction, but goddamn, it's working its way to the car Happy had waiting for them.

"….Seriously?" it sounds cocky, but coming from Loki, it might actually be the truth. Oh, judging by that look, not the truth. Okay, Loki might think Tony is an idiot. Okay, Tony's an idiot.

"No, Tony not 'seriously'. I have a mind more suited to this world than Thor. The technology is simple for me. Thor is more suited to swords, cavalries, and other things of a more archaic nature. Though I am capable of engaging in battle, it is not my forte per se."

This Tony can see. Tony can see Loki winning a battle not because of might, or because he has an indestructible hammer, but because he can make the fight never happen, or can Kobayashi Maru it in such a way there is no outcome other than Loki's own success.

"I like it. You're good at this, I should fucking hire you, you'd make PR a fucking breeze." Hiring Loki really would make a lot of things a lot easier. But thoughts for later, they were arriving at their date's (or soon to be date) locale.

Happy stopped the car, and the two climbed out of the back seat, and onto the bridge's pedestrian walkway.

"Tony, I am aware that I don't fully understand some of humanity's more complex rituals, but why are we standing on a bridge? I do not think we're quite insane enough to have entered into a suicide pact, so I don't anticipate you asking me to jump off it." But there Loki was, leaning over the railings, looking at what was below.

Tony was already having fun, and he knew, just knew, if just ten percent of the legends were true, Loki was going to love this date.

"This, my darling, my friend is not just a bridge," being daring, just for now, Tony took Loki's hand, and held it between his, putting the other man (god-thing) in front of him on the sidewalk, "this is the Brooklyn Bridge. And do you know what happened here in 1883?"

"Why would I know what happened here in 1883? I am beginning to worry that you are actually insane!" but he wasn't taking his hand back, he was relaxed, holding Tony's hand in return, just a little.

"In 1883, George C Parker first conned a man into buying this bridge."

"What?" no longer confused, but interested, and just a bit amused. Perfect, wonderful, this was Tony being right, and Tony was loving it.

"George C Parker was a con man, and for like thirty years, he sold this bridge to anyone who'd buy it, who'd pay up for it. It's the city's bridge, for the record, no one can sell it."

"And people would just take that sale? People were so simple as to think they could buy a bridge in the middle of a metropolis?" the bridge was windy today, Loki pressed close to Tony to hear the story, the fantastic tale of one of earth's best tricksters.

"He'd put a 'for sale' sticker on it, target the rich and the bored, and tell them he had a bridge to sell them. If they questioned the sale, he'd just tell them that of course it was, there's a for sale sticker on it! Why else would that sticker be there, if it wasn't for sale?"

Tony had to crane up a bit to talk into Loki's ear, but it was all worth it, all so worth it. This closeness, this weird intimacy was not Tony's usual fare, but it was definitely something he wanted to keep up. Especially with Loki, most definitely with Loki.

"If anyone wondered why he was selling them a goddamned bridge, Parker would just explain the sheer amount of money they'd make on traffic control, tariffs, tolls, ya know, the usual. Who would blink an eye at giving him fifty thousand dollars when they'd make it back in a month, a year?"

Tony knew Loki was thinking about it, about selling bridges and museums and statues to unsuspecting tourists, could feel the sheer and blinding _intelligence_ burning through Loki. It was the kind of intelligence Tony knew and felt in his bones, the kind that drove Tony crazy when he wanted to explain it to someone not on his level. Loki was so, so, so on his level.

Now Loki was laughing. Not the mocking, cruel laughter of a god taking over an unsophisticated planet, but the laugh of a con artist watching a fellow grifter's sleight of hand, and seeing the moment the switch was made. Loki pulled back, turned left and right to look at all angles of the bridge available from his vantage point. Tony tried, failed, but tried, not to feel bereft at the space now there.

"So he sold the bridge how often? You said he did it for thirty years. Were there other sales? Did he sell other things? What else did he do? I simply must know." Loki, bright and shining, full of whatever force that had Thor defending his brother at every turn. And Tony, beside the supernova, didn't feel small at all. Loki may be the energy that outshines galaxies, but in this moment Tony feels like the galaxy, and relishes being the center of all that light.

"He sold it, like twice a week or something, to anyone. He would do it for fifty bucks or fifty thousand, whatever the poor bastard could pay. I'm pretty sure Parker sold the Museum of Modern Art, the Statue of Liberty, and Grant's Tomb at least a couple of times each."

"Where are they? Can we get to them? Are they nearby?" Oh god, Tony could just kiss him right here, on the pedestrian level of the Brooklyn Bridge. That's not a bad idea, and hell, if Loki wasn't a fan, and pushed Tony off, he'd feel no pain.

Tony took Loki's hand, stepped closer to him. Tony wrapped his hand around Loki's neck, and wasn't this a parallel, first meetings and first kisses, but this time, Tony pulled him down, pressed his lips to Loki's in what he was pretty sure looked like a twelve year old girl's version of a kiss; all chastity and romance, nothing spectacular or revolutionary.

But something settled in Tony, some weird skittish beast that he hadn't known was even bothering him before this moment, before an innocent, almost childlike kiss on a bridge.

Tony pulled back, and goddamn that was it. That was everything he'd been wanting everything he'd been waiting for. And he'd not been thrown off a bridge, score, Loki must not hate the idea, might even want the idea.

Loki was smiling still, the same bright spinning smile, and looked for all the world like the Cheshire Cat, mad and happy.

"Was that your plan, Mr Stark? Bring me here, kiss me? I must say, I do not object. I encourage it, in fact."

How the fuck could he be sarcastic and snarky still? Tony has to keep him, he can't fuck this over. There can't be a single other person in existence who reacts so well to Tony.

"Nah, not the plan. Well sort of the plan. The plan was more a work in progress, I hadn't really gotten to the end yet. But encourage, you say? I learn very well from positive reinforcement."

"Hmmm. Yes, I can see that. But before that, I'd like to see these other places. The museum, and the statue. Could you please show them to me?" That wasn't a request, it was definitely an I-know-how-to-get-you-to-do-whatever-I-want-now statement. One Tony was totally in favour of.

"Loki, my darling, I will show you every single place Parker scammed." Tony would, he would show Loki a whole new fucking world, and be a Disney prince if he could.

"Honey– " one word should not do that much to Tony's heart– ",that would be wonderful."


	7. Chapter 7

**Yes, My Love, That's Right, That's Right**

After years of hating New York City and everything in it, Tony was finally seeing how people could write songs about, love it like he loved JARVIS, make it part of them in their fucking soul. Loki (obviously, so painfully obvious, why is Tony even thinking this, clichés are lame) had everything to do with that.

There is nothing more fantastic than seeing a being with all the power in the world (maybe possibly probably, oh god Tony can't wait to find out how much power) at his fingertips amused at "Broadway Boogie-Woogie" while sitting in the MoMA.

"It's your city," Loki said, not out of the blue at all. Like the opposite of out of the blue. Into the green? Metaphors were not something to think about when distracted, it lead to too much confusion.

"Well yeah, the artist, whatshisass, made it a kind of grid of Manhattan. That's what you're supposed to see here, a weird primary color Manhattan map thing. I think? I think. I'm not really sure. I kind of let…other people handle art for me, a lot of the time."

Now Loki was looking at him like he was nuts, which was fine, he's totally insane, he must be, but what had he said now, this was normal and relevant information this time damnit.

"No, Tony," his voice was gentle, oh so gentle, and Tony wanted to crawl into it, cover his head and not come out 'til the morning. "I mean this is _your city_. You fit well here. I rather like it."

Now Tony was confused, a little concerned. Loki might have just gone off the rails, taken the crazy train and ran it so far off the track it ended up as a special on CNN, Anderson Cooper reporting. Hopefully it wouldn't make the Ridiculist. Ugh, if it did though, Cooper better laugh, those goddamn videos had so many hits.

"Loki, dear, my sun and stars. I hated it here my entire life. This entire city, it's just made up of everything my father did, everything he built. I mean, even Captain fucking America was made, here in New York City, by my father. This place…it's all his." Loki had to understand that, he had to know how this worked.

But instead, Loki smiled a bit sadly, and patted Tony's hand, like he's a dog that tried really hard to do a trick, but just missed the rollover by that much.

"Moon of my life," good to know Loki carved time out of his _busy_ schedule to watch Game of Thrones. Or read it. Or both. "There are halls and rooms in Asgard that no matter how long I'm away, or how much I grow to hate the Allfather, will always be mine. They may have been created by Odin, but they are rooms that do not belong to him."

When did this flipflop happen. This isn't right, this wasn't meant to be a let's-fix-Tony, or anyone at all, deal. It was just comfort, just acknowledgment of a common ground. Now they were diving into waters Tony did not even want to try to deal with, not ever, but totally not now. Some things are best to be saved for long after the first date, maybe the eighth. Or eight billionth date? Some date so far away it shouldn't even be considered at this point in time.

"But enough of that. Where would you be taking me now? What is next on this glorious tour of the city." And we're back. Oh good, breathing was easy again, way easier now that they were outside again.

"Food. Food is always the next part, especially this late, and I think I know your type of place. I bet you're not into the whole street fare type, eh? That's more Thor's deal, you should see Thor and the Cap, the two of them I swear have spent a small fortune on food from carts. It's weird."

"I'm not surprised by that at all, Thor always was fond of the 'cheap and easy' when it came to food. But Rogers, really? I can't see this ending well." Loki seemed to be suitably disturbed by the idea, so all and all a job well done.

No, Captain fucking America and Thor hanging out was a test in waiting for something big, expensive, and technological to get destroyed completely accidentally. Tony would bet a lot of money, like all of his money, more than all, he needs to make money off this venture, that when something does go wrong, they'll get out if it by a combination of patriotism, blind ignorance, and a people's willingness to be pulled in by very large dogs. Saint Bernards and Newfoundlands oh my.

"I honestly try not to think of all the ways that could and will go wrong, it's just not good for my heart, and I keep that think in top working form, thank you very much."

Open the door in, usher Loki in, just as normal as normal could be, two normal people having a normal dinner on a normal day. If everyone in the vicinity was blind and dumb, they might get away with the charade of normality. Oh fuck normalcy, that was an indefinable ideal anyways, Tony shouldn't even try to keep up with that kind of construct.

The Russian Tea Room was one of Tony's good memories of New York as a child. His mother and him sitting in the Hearth Room, having food far too expensive, in a décor far too extravagant for a four year old, but Tony thinking just for a moment he actually fit somewhere.

They were lead to a small table, then left to their own devices, as Tony wanted. A well trained wait staff was perhaps the best investment of any restaurant, other than the chefs, it was a mark of a truly great restaurant to have the waiters anticipate what the customer needed.

Through the Caviar Tasting and wine, there was near-silence, the kind Tony can take, the kind he likes. It was good food, good company, good wine (not too much, Tony was a slightly recovering, maybe, sorta alcoholic, damnit), and it was good, comfortable enough for Kulebiaka (Tony's) and Shashlik (Loki's) to pass uninterrupted, aside from footsies under the table (who knew god-men-things played that, but the thrill and rush of it was oh so good) and sly glances across the table.

Tony could not imagine a better day, nothing could compare to this, not defeating evil, not driving Monaco. Not a thing.

* * *

Tony had sent Happy home earlier in the night, and now it was just Loki and Tony and five minutes to Stark Tower. The glories of Manhattan, everything is within walking distance. The night was clear and bright, and if they were outside of the city, on the ocean somewhere, the stars would be out in full force. As it was, Manhattan was shining, shimmering, splendid. And oh god, Tony had to take Disney off Netflix, why does this happen to him.

"Thank you, by the way. For this, for all of…this." Before cancelling Disney, Tony had to shut the fuck up, or maybe not Loki was laughing, and that was totally okay, Tony could say a million stupid things, uncensored and unknown things for that.

"Mr Stark, you are quite welcome, it is my pleasure entirely to have been invited to do this with you, to see the places you consider important." Tony thinks, for just a moment, that he can have this, keep it all of it. The insane avenging, the insane business, the insane romance, and make it all work, if Loki would just let him have it.

Star Tower was never quiet, not even this late at night. People still worked, still had projects and deadlines, and wanted to meet them, impress their boss, impress The Boss. Despite that, seeing Pepper in the lobby was odd, definitely not expected.

"Hi Pep, have a good night, I did, let's talk about it tomorrow, lunch, okay bye" Too late, Pepper had something, Tony wasn't getting out of it this easily.

"Hello Tony, I _was_ having a wonderful evening. Until the Moscow office called me, in a panic, demanding to speak to you. Thankfully, you're here now, so here's the files they're panicking over, be a good boy and settle their little problems. I'll make sure your guest is suitably entertained."

Oh god. This was not good. As Tony walked to a small conference room, he couldn't help but think this was all an elaborate plot, and it was somehow going to end with Pepper and Loki being total biffles. And that was a thought more terrifying than Captain fucking America and Thor getting vendor food.

* * *

The elevator pinged, and since Loki and Pepper were apparently going to the same place, it was only logical they got in together. Damn logic, Loki could snap himself to the Avenger's part of the Tower in seconds. However, Pepper Potts was, in many ways, the deciding factor on what Loki could expect from Tony. An opportunity presents itself, he would not deny it.

"Did you two have a good day?" An innocuous question was never as simple as it seemed, Loki learned that very young. He was also smart enough to avoid underestimating Ms Potts.

"It was an experience I hope to have again, very soon. Tony can be a very generous when he chooses to be." Vague is safe, perhaps it'll last the elevator ride.

"Did you do anything particularly exciting?" Now Loki was wondering who was retrieving information from whom, and if he could change this. But, as it stands, a brief recount of where they had gone would not cause any damage. He did not need to tell what they had talked about, what they had done however. That was his alone.

"You're good for him, I think. God knows I've seen Tony with enough things that were bad for him, I can tell the difference. But no, you're definitely on the good side. Did you know that the Russian Tea Room was his and his mother's thing?"

What?

"What?" Oh well done, prying information out with subtlety and finesse, very good.

"Yep, the time we were together, he never took me there. He never took anyone there, as far as I know. It's been just his thing for some time now, as long as I've known him. It will be good to see him sharing it with other people."

Now Loki had more to think about, and absolutely no answers. Ms Potts was good.

"Well Loki, this is my floor. Tony should be done any moment now and I'll just send him right up as soon as I see him. Have a good night."

And with that, Loki was alone in an elevator, trying to figure out what exactly he was getting himself into, and if there was a possible bad outcome at all, for him, for Tony, for anyone.

He couldn't think of one.


	8. Chapter 8

**You Always Wanted to be Brave and True**

Tony was in his lab, and between Stark Industry making wicked profits, the Avengers finally having some real panzer-lever traction, and Loki and him working out so perfectly (three more dates, numerous more kisses, one memorable night) Tony was the happiest man alive. So happy in fact, this all had to blow up in his face in a dramatic and terrible way pretty soon. But thoughts for tomorrow.

He was working his way through the joints and wires in the Iron Man's legs, fixing nicks and dents where he found them. Though his first meeting with Loki had been vastly different from what was happening now, the results still had to be dealt with.

"Sir, there may be a small situation in the main lounge of the Avengers' living quarters."

"JARVIS, you understating son of a bitch, you say small situation. I don't want one of your small situations, I am happy, satisfied, content. What is the small situation."

"It appears as though your relationship with Loki has been made aware to your compatriots."

"…You have to stop minimizing these things."

Tony all but ran to the elevator, making it to the lounge in record time despite not changing the speed abilities for the elevator itself. It could totally function faster with greater efficiency, what were the engineers doing here, fucking up his beautiful tower.

When he got to the Avengers lounge, Tony was greeted by the strangest Mexican standoff ever to exist on the face of the planet. Rogers was glaring at Loki, who was smirking behind Thor, who was giving Rogers a look of pure destruction. Banner was cleaning his glasses, and Natasha and Clint just looked bored, and might be playing backgammon. No, it was definitely backgammon, where did they get a backgammon board.

Well, this had to be Tony's fault, these types of things were always Tony's fault. Now, how to deal with it. Especially the backgammon, they can't keep that away for him, he rocked it at MIT.

"So, did someone eat the last of your Shredded Wheat, Cap? Drink the last of the milk? Take the funnies out of the paper before you read it? Oh, oh, I know! Did someone forget to bake cookies for your lunch? I know how upsetting that can be, but there's a phone over there and it has the ability to call ANY bakery in the boroughs to bring you cookies. There's no need to start a war over it."

Cookies would be fantastic. Maybe he should get Pepper to buy a bakery, or should he just learn to bake. Tony should definitely learn to bake, ten bucks says Loki can't bake, it would be impressive. And romantic. Impressively romantic. There could be cakes, when was Loki's birthday, did he have a birthday?

"Stark. Let's go, we need to talk about this." Oh fuck, Captain fucking America wanted to talk, this was gonna be a no-go.

"About what, what do we need to talk about? The relative merits of red velvet versus Devil's food?"

Now Captain fucking America was looking at Tony like he was crazy, Loki was looking worried, why was Loki worried, gods should not look worried.

"No, we need to talk about the Loki situation you're having." Subtlety was not his forte.

"Captain, that is going to be a no-go. I cannot possibly leave you to talk at this juncture in time, I have a previous commitment to coffee. And possibly cake. I'll call the Cake Boss, I could get private lessons! But I will not be talking with you. This has been fantastic, Natasha, roll a six and you win, good bye."

If you cannot possibly win in any given scenario, change the scenario to accommodate a win. Kirk did it, Stark can do it. Though Tony's method of leaving might just not match to the Kobayashi Maru. Oh well, even if you can win 'em all, they can't all be perfect.

The elevator pinged. Thank all deities ever that it had stayed on this floor. Get in, press down, labs here I come.

This was not fair, Captain Fucking America's insanity. Either it was insane mother henning, or it was insane assholery, and either one was not going to happen in Tony's home. Home? Ha. This wasn't home, this entire fucking city was memory and hate, Malibu was home, his cliffs and his ocean was home, why was Tony here, why wasn't he at _home_? That's it, the Iron Man suits are in the lab, fuck New York, fuck the Avengers, Tony can lock it all down so tight a nuclear holocaust wouldn't open it, he is flying home.

* * *

Steve Rogers was at a standstill outside the elevator, doing his best impression of a kicked and lost puppy. The rest of the room was silent.

"Oh, Steve, you fucked up big. Like way big. Bigger than I have ever done, and I promise you, Tasha and Coulson have _fantastic_ stories of my fuck ups. Budapest, ask about it later."

With that, Clint dragged Steve back into the world of the living. Though Clint honestly didn't think Steve would want to stay here, not with the glint in Loki's eyes, or the barely restrained rage in Thor's. Or, for that matter, the steel in Natasha's, she'd become friends with Tony, no one fucks with the Momma Bear's cubs.

"What, what did I do? I don't mean to offend you, Loki, but you have to see this is something we have to talk about, your relationship will influence the team dynamic." Stage one of the Kübler-Ross Model: Denial. Steve is currently denying the existence of a slight against Tony, because Steve has issues with loss, both of personnel and control.

This conversation had clearly become a Steve-and-Clint deal, everyone else backing off to their corners, hyenas and one bear waiting for the result, see which carcass they can rip apart. Totally Clint's type of people.

"Yeah, but Steve. You got all focused on the Tony-Loki thing, that you lost all sense of distance to this! We are actually working together! Natasha and Loki fucking spar! Thor makes us pancakes every Thursday, because IT'S HIS NAME-DAY. Our workplace had been Hulk-Free for twenty three days. Our previous record? One. One day. Really, fourteen hours. And I wasn't there for it at all. So take a shitfucking minute, and look at how you're fucking over _a working system_."

Clint did not get a lot of credit for his intelligence outside of the military applications. However, Clint understands people deeply, and he knows all the reasons Tony walked out.

"Pardon the interruption, lady and gentlemen," JARVIS was not sorry at all, Clint figured out the guy had a wicked personality the first week here, "but Mister Stark has locked down seven of the ten research and development floors, and has taken an Iron Man suit."

"What? JARVIS, where did he go, everyone suit up, we have to go after him," Oh god, Steve was in full Captain fucking America mode. Clint was glad he picked up that moniker from Natasha, it really did suit the douchasaurus rex right now.

"No." low and quite, no room for argument, and suddenly Loki was a son of kings in a room of rats, neverminding the jeans and tee shirt he wore now, just like everyone else.

"No? Loki, I'm sorry, but you're not in charge here." Oh good, Steve is poking at the guy. At least Clint knows where his arrows are. And his towel, he'll need both today.

"No, Mister Rogers, I am not in charge of any field missions officially sanctioned and ordered by SHIELD or associated agencies. I am however, very much in charge of handling the fallout from your incomprehensible levels of incompetency. So you shall stay here, do whatever mindless tasks occupy your time, and I shall go try to fix the damage you have caused."

Loki was gone. No smoke, no light, no sound. Like a mirage, Loki had disappeared, leaving four Avengers to explain to one misplaced soldier how to not offend friends and coworkers. Clint was gonna have to write a manual for this.

* * *

Loki stepped out of space and into Tony's Malibu living room, and saw everything Tony had left behind when moving to New York. Memories, comfort, familiarity were strewn about the house like old friends, nothing like the cold formality of Stark Towers.

Loki took advantage of his early arrival, picking up, discarding mementoes, opening cupboards, until he heard the tell-tale noise of the repulsers landing below his feet, in what must be Tony's garage.

Following the noise, Loki found Tony half-apart in the one area Loki hadn't made it to, full of cars and machines.

"Honey, you're home. If you'd called, I would have had a drink ready for you."

Tony nearly jumped out of the rest of the suit, swung around with his hand up, ready to shoot any who invade his home. Loki understood that, encouraged it, wished to never see it again.

"Just me. I arrived rather earlier than you, though I suppose I had a more efficient method of travel than you."

Relief transformed Tony, easing away the tension in his arms, around his eyes. Safe and sound, with Tony safe and sound, Loki could relax, could just enjoy this impromptu vacation.

"Jesus, Loki. Hi." Free from the suit, he kissed Loki, a little desperate, a little tender, "How did you know where I would be?" Now Tony seemed genuinely confused.

"Oh, well. Your JARVIS likes me the most out of everyone, I think. Or more than Steve Rogers, at least." Not really a surprise, or it appeared that Tony didn't think it was.

"Are we gonna talk about it?" No one wanted to talk.

"I think we all know what happened. And those who don't are currently being educated rather vociferously by Clint Barton, and perhaps slightly by Natasha Romanoff. I'm loathe to admit it, but the two of them make a rather frightening pair."

"You have no idea, just wait. So, came all this way, and we're not going to talk. Any ideas?"

"Mr Stark, I'm all yours. Surprise me."


End file.
